I don’t know where I’ve been, but today is the first day I’ve heard this song. It’s definitely a song for her, the love of my life.  I love the lyrics, the angst, and the subtle (or not so subtle?) overtones. Some of the words in this song could easily have a double meaning for me in regards to her, and work perfectly.

I miss the sound of your voice
And I miss the rush of your skin
And I miss the still of the silence
As you breathe out and I breathe in

If I could walk on water
If I could tell you what’s next
I’d make you believe
I’d make you forget

So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire in the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love

I miss the sound of your voice
The loudest thing in my head
And I ache to remember
All the violent, sweet
Perfect words that you said

If I could walk on water
If I could tell you what’s next
I’d make you believe
I’d make you forget

So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love

I miss the pull of your heart
I could taste the sparks on your tongue
I see angels and devils
And God, when you come on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on

Sing sha la la la
Sing sha la la la la

So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me, drown me in love

So wrong, so wrong,
It’s so truly right
So come on, get higher
Come on, get higher
‘Cause everything works, love
Everything works in your arms

This afternoon as I sit listening to internet music station Pandora.com, this song by the Goo Goo Dolls came on.  I had to share it.

And you asked me what I want this year
and I try to make this kind and clear
just a chance that maybe we’ll find better days
’cause I don’t need boxes wrapped in strings
and designer love and empty things
just a chance that maybe we’ll find better days

So take these words and sing out loud
’cause everyone is forgiven now
’cause tonight’s the night the world begins again

I need some place simple where we could live
and something only you can give
and that’s faith and trust and peace while we’re alive
and the one poor child who saved this world
and there’s ten million more who probably could
if we all just stopped and said a prayer for them

So take these words and sing out loud
’cause everyone is forgiven now
’cause tonight’s the night the world begins again

I wish everyone was loved tonight
and somehow stop this endless fight
just a chance that maybe we’ll find better days

So take these words and sing out loud
’cause everyone is forgiven now
’cause tonight’s the night the world begins again

’cause tonight’s the night the world begins again

Pure fear of vulnerability
Does not a mysterious man make.
Self delusion is more like it,
That inner empty lake.

Alone each night I sit and sip
In mirrors, lips red stained.
The congregants would not approve
Of two more bottles drained.

Along someday will come the one
Complex and deep within?
Just who do I think I’m kidding,
All I care is that she’s thin.

And I really love you.  I love YOU.  Tonight you pointed to our son, and you’re right, I do love him.  More than anything.  He is my little man, and amazes me at every turn.  But I love YOU too.  Not just ’cause you’re his mother, but because you are YOU.

I’ve had some very interesting people interested in me these last two years.  None compare to you.  Not a single one.  They just do NOT measure up, and I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who does.  I just want to tell you that you are amazing, and I am infatuated with you, in love with you, and impressed by you.

Love,

Me

Ah… Creed. Don’t you just have those Creed days? You know, those times when you turn them on and just can’t turn the music off?  Their songs can be so powerful.

Last spring there was a day when I was six feet from the edge and thinking, “Maybe six feet ain’t so far down…”  This was long after I’d already asked heaven to save me, but things I didn’t want to face came to the surface.  Things I didn’t want to admit had ever been inside.  On that day, I really scared someone who loves me.  But instead of parking my running car in my garage and going to sleep I instead went to get help.  And I was held.  And six feet became much further down than I wished to climb.

Sad eyes still follow me, for sure.  But I still believe!

Should you ever be in that place, I hope there is someone to hold you, too.

Please come now I think I’m falling
I’m holding on to all I think is safe
It seems I found the road to nowhere
And I’m trying to escape
I yelled back when I heard thunder
But I’m down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say

Hold me now
I’m six feet from the edge and I’m thinking
Maybe six feet
Ain’t so far down

I’m looking down now that it’s over
Reflecting on all of my mistakes
I thought I found the road to somewhere
Somewhere in His grace
I cried out heaven save me
But I’m down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say

Hold me now
I’m six feet from the edge and I’m thinking
Maybe six feet
Ain’t so far down

Hold me now
I’m six feet from the edge and I’m thinking
Maybe six feet
Ain’t so far down

I’m so far down…

Sad eyes follow me
But I still believe there’s something left for me
So please come stay with me
‘Cause I still believe there’s something left for you and me
For you and me
For you and me

Hold me now
I’m six feet from the edge and I’m thinking

Hold me now
I’m six feet from the edge and I’m thinking
Maybe six feet
Ain’t so far down

Hold me now
I’m six feet from the edge and I’m thinking
Maybe six feet
Ain’t so far down

Please come now I think I’m falling
I’m holding on to all I think is safe

“It is what I deserve,”
This lie I speak each time,
“Would any other serve
To pay for so much crime?”

But when the narc’ist speaks
The tone is so distinct
“It is not I who reeks,”
Realized brutal and succinct.

None of greater mind
Upon the spinning globe
Will the seeker find
Wholly pointless is the probe.

So on this ‘eve I dwell
Once more upon the voice
Speaking truth inside,
“You have no other choice.”

For you.  You know I don’t agree, but ya never know…  what if it all goes right?  You might fall, but then again, you might fly.

What if that road that you’re taking’s a dead end?
What if love leaves you all jaded and broken?
What if that limb breaks you’re climbing out on?
Yeah, what if it all goes wrong?

But, what if it all goes right?
What if it all works out?
What if the stars line up,
and good luck rains down?
What if you chase your dream,
and it changes your whole life?
Yeah, what if it all goes right?

What if that road is a beautiful slow drive?
What if that love ends up lasting a life time?
What if that limb holds you, oak tree strong?
What if this time nothing goes wrong?

What if it all goes right?
What if it all works out?
What if the stars line up,
and good luck rains down?
What if you chase your dream,
and it changes your whole life?
Yeah, what if it all goes right?

What if you climb to the mountain top
and touch the sky?
Grab a cloud as it passes by?
You might fall, you might fall.
But then again you might fly!

What if it all goes right?
What if it all works out?
What if the stars line up,
and good luck rains down?
What if you chase your dream,
and it changes your whole life?
Yeah, what if it all goes right?

This song moves me.  For me, it epitomizes a woman being used by,  a woman who settles for, the wrong man.

“And if their hearts were dying that fast, they’d have done the same as you.  And I’d have done the same as you.” She just felt as if she needed someone SO badly. Many can relate.

Cath…
She stands with a well intentioned man,
But she can’t relax with his hands on the small of her back.
As the flashbulbs burst she holds a smile
Like someone would hold a crying child.

Soon everybody will ask what became of you
Your heart was dying fast and you didn’t know what to do.

Cath…
It seems that you live in someone else’s dream,
In a hand-me-down wedding dress
With the things that could have been are repressed.
But you said your vows and you closed the door
On so many men who would have loved you more.

Soon everybody will ask what became of you.
Your heart was dying fast and you didn’t know what to do.
The whispers that it won’t last roll up and down the pews.
But if their hearts were dying that fast, they’d have done the same as you.
And I’d have done the same as you.

This song is way too dark for my preference.  I don’t really like it that much.  Kinda icky if you ask me…

Claustrophobic
Crawl out of this skin
Hard explosive
Reaching for that pin

Feel thy name extermination
Desecrating, Hail of Fire

So we cross that line
Into the crypt
Total eclipse
Suffer unto my apocalypse!

Deadly vision
Prophecy revealed
Death magnetic
Pulling closer still

Feel thy name annihilation
Desolating, Hail of Fire

So we cross that line
Into the crypt
Total eclipse
Suffer unto my apocalypse!

My apocalypse… Go!

Crushing metal, Ripping Skin
Tossing body mannequin
Spilling Blood, Bleeding Gas

Mangle flesh, Snapping spine
Dripping bloody valentine
Shattered face, spitting glass

Split apart
Split apart
Split apart
Split
Spit it out!

What makes me drift a litter bit closer
Dead man takes the steering wheel
What makes me know it’s time to cross over
Words you repeat until I feel

See through the skin the bones they all rattle
Future and past they disagree
Flesh falls away the bones they all shatter
I start to see the end in me

See the end in me…

Claustrophobic
Climb out of this skin
Hard explosive
Waiting for that pin

Violate, annihilate
A loser to my eyes
Obliterate, exterminate
At last accept, deny

Feel thy name as hell awakens
Destiny, Inhale the Fire

But we cross that line
Into the crypt
Total eclipse
Suffer unto my apocalypse!

Tyrants awaken my apocalypse!
Demon awaken my apocalypse!
Heaven awaken my apocalypse!
Suffer forever my apocalypse!

Who hasn’t felt a bit like this at one time or another in their life?

Sleep, and dream of this
Death angel’s kiss
Brings final bliss
Come believe me!

Empty they say
Death, won’t you let me stay?
Empty they say
Death, hear me call your name?
Oh, call your name!

Suicide, I’ve already died
You’re just the funeral I’ve been waiting for
Cyanide, living dead inside
Break this empty shell forevermore

Wait, wait patiently
Your death-black wings
Unfolding sleep
Spreading on me

Empty they say
Death, won’t you let me stay?
Empty they say
Death, hear me call your name
Oh, call your name!

Suicide, I’ve already died
You’re just the funeral I’ve been waiting for
Cyanide, living dead inside
Break this empty shell forevermore

Say, is that rain or are they tears?
That stained your concrete face for years
Crying, weeping, shedding strife
Year after year, life after life

A narrow freshly broken ground
A concrete angel laid right down
Upon the grave which swallows fast
It’s peace at last
Oh, peace at last

Empty they say
Death, won’t you let me stay?
Empty they say
Death, hear me call your name
Oh, call your name

Suicide, I’ve already died
You’re just the funeral I’ve been waiting for
Cyanide, living dead inside
Break this empty shell forevermore

Forevermore!
Forevermore!
It’s the funeral I’ve been waiting for!